


Zero is a Crowd

by themutanthamster



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Fluff, M/M, and john isn't much better, at least they actually communicate, it's so awkward what have i done, sherlock is a love struck doofus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-26 19:01:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3861118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themutanthamster/pseuds/themutanthamster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock needs to hold John's hand. It's only practical after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zero is a Crowd

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw [this prompt post](http://myfavouriteshockblanket.tumblr.com/post/116898572692/height-difference-aus) and immediately started plotting the last one. This isn't beta'd or britpicked (or even edited really) so if you see anything let me know.

The first time it happened they were chasing a serial rapist through the audience at an outdoor concert. John was having trouble staying close to Sherlock in the crowd and he couldn’t see the suspect through all the people. Sherlock’s solution was to grab his hand and drag him along. After the suspect was captured and their statements were given, John demanded an explanation. Sherlock’s answer, as per usual, was annoyingly logical.

“You were obviously having trouble keeping sight of myself and the suspect. Barring you spontaneously growing another ten centimetres, holding your hand was the easiest way to prevent you being lost in the crowd.”

 John wanted to be angry, he really did. But he’s short, a fact he accepted at age nineteen when it became clear that he was not going to go through a miraculous growth spurt, and honestly he couldn’t come up with a different solution. The warmth that still radiated from his hand certainly helped tame his reaction as well.

The next time it happened they were following a reluctant witness in the middle of a market. They were at a stall across from where the witness was stopped and Sherlock grabbed his hand. John tried to pull it away but Sherlock tightened his grip.

“He’s more likely to notice two separate people following him. His suspicions are less likely to be aroused by another couple in the crowd. Holding hands is a simple way of creating that impression.”

John tried to protest but the witness chose that time to collapse. Apparently, despite having closely monitored his movements since he left police custody, the killer had found an opportunity to poison him with the same compound they’d used on the last three victims. John tried not to dwell on his feelings about the interruption.

It happened more and more frequently while they were on cases. Sherlock would grab John’s hand with little or no warning. John had given up asking for an explanation. He instead focused on enjoying those moments while they lasted. It was the closest he figured he’d ever get to a relationship with Sherlock Holmes.

The hand holding started leaking into case-free time as well. When Sherlock accompanied John on his daily walk he would grab John’s hand any time they had to move through a crowd. John accepted Sherlock’s flimsy excuse of not wanting to lose him in a crowd, not wanting to complain about the increase in physical contact. Besides, Sherlock had been more tactile since he came back from the Fall and John was not going to question it.

***

Nowadays John has begun to notice that the number of people that constitutes a crowd is shrinking. Now the number of people required before Sherlock takes his hand is ten. John knows people for whom ten is a small group. Of course this arouses his suspicions. He wracks his brain for reasons Sherlock would want to hold his hand but the only answer he comes up with is one he dares not hope for. But, as Sherlock would say, once you’ve eliminated the impossible, whatever remains must be the truth. So John starts watching Sherlock. No, not watching, observing. He looks for unusual pupil dilation, increased pulse, and any of the myriad signs of attraction regularly found in human beings. What he discovers is that he can’t observe these signs without raising Sherlock’s suspicions. His only opportunities are during stakeouts and during their usual post-case rush, so the results are inconclusive due to other variables. Sadly, adrenaline tends to mimic the usual signs of attraction.

So John is left frustrated without answers and a new crowd number of five. He considers the serious possibility that the only way to get answers is to confront Sherlock, but that has the potential to blow up in his face. Besides, if Sherlock did want something more out of their relationship John can’t figure out why he’d be so tentative. He’s sure Sherlock knows how he feels. People don’t leave their fiancées in order to move back in with their friends. Then again, John knows Sherlock is a bit oblivious to the softer emotions. Which means John will have to make his own feelings on the matter clear.

***

The first time was an accident. Well, not an accident but certainly without ulterior motives. Sherlock is willing to swear this on a stack of case files. But after the case was over and the suspect arrested he still couldn’t put the feeling of John’s hand in his out of his mind. So he started finding more excuses to hold John’s hand. He managed not to be bored for a whole week when John didn’t question holding hands when they weren’t on cases.

He knows his excuses are getting more and more flimsy. He was sure John would put a stop to it once the requisite “crowd” dropped down to twenty. But the number is down to five and John still hasn’t complained. He’s certainly shot Sherlock some questioning looks. And he seems to watch Sherlock more closely than usual. Which is quite a feat actually. John is not the most observant person in the world but when Sherlock is the one being observed he is disturbingly astute. Sherlock does not hold out any hope that his feelings will remain secret. But that’s the point of this whole exercise. He’s fairly certain of John’s feelings but, frankly, Sherlock’s flirting skills are appalling when he’s not working on a case, and this is the only thing he could come up with that would force any kind of conversation. He certainly can’t just bring it up over tea. Neither he nor John are particularly good at those kinds of conversations after all.

So he’ll keep grabbing John’s hand until one of them says something.

***

John has a plan. It’s a simple plan. The next time the opportunity comes up he will initiate the hand holding and observe Sherlock’s reaction. If he reacts favourably then John will swallow his discomfort and actually talk to Sherlock about the tension that’s been building between them since before the Fall. If he doesn’t react favourably then… well… John should probably still have a conversation with the man, if only to set some firm boundaries before he drives John mad.

Turns out simple does not mean easy. A new case quickly sweeps them up in a swirling mystery that lasts two months that ends in a narrowly dodged bullet and the cracking open of a domestic terrorist cell, but once things settle down again John starts looking for an opportunity to put his plan into action. It’s a couple of weeks before one arises.

***

It’s a lovely autumn day. The sun is making a sporadic appearance and it’s warm enough that John can leave his coat at the flat when he and Sherlock take a walk through Regent’s Park. The park is a popular place with families and couples gathering to enjoy the brief periods of sunshine, offering Sherlock ample opportunity to show off. There’s a crowd, so to speak, but nothing that would actually make hand holding necessary. It’s just the right setting for John’s plan. The problem? John’s calm and courage, present through war and bullets and explosive vests in pools, has decided to flee. He wasn’t this nervous before proposing to his ex. John tunes out Sherlock’s deductions and tries to gather his courage.

“Is something wrong John? You seem distracted.”

John snaps out of his distraction and looks up at Sherlock. The look of genuine concern and puzzlement on his face helps John gather the scraps of his courage. He smiles at Sherlock and grabs Sherlock’s hand to squeeze it in reassurance. He doesn’t let go and Sherlock doesn’t try to let go either. It’s the only sign John needs to know that a conversation is necessary, although it won’t be as awkward as he feared.

They hold hands all the way back to the flat, only breaking apart when John needs both hands to open the door. Sherlock precedes him into the flat and heads directly to the kettle. John settles on the sofa before Sherlock enters with two steaming mugs and settles on the other side. They sip in pleasant silence for several minutes before John sets his mug on the table. He clears his throat gently and turns towards Sherlock.

“Hey, you know it’s been almost six months since I moved back in.”

Sherlock looks up at him from his own tea before offering a small smile.

“Five months and twelve days if you want an exact number.”

John huffs a laugh, “Figures you’d know the exact date.”

Sherlock glances back down at his tea, his cheeks going a bit pink.

“I can actually tell you down to the hour.”

John thinks he’d be more amazed by that if he himself hadn’t actually been keeping track down to the minute (he’d moved back April 19th at 11:53 am just two hours after breaking it off with his fiancée and packing up all his things). Love makes you take note of ridiculous things.

“Yes well, exact time aside we’ve been back together for a while now and I think it’s time we had a chat.”

Sherlock continues to stare at his tea like it holds the answer to life, the universe, and everything. In all honesty John wishes he still had his mug to stare at. But the potential payoff for this moment of discomfort seems to far outweigh his embarrassment. So he picks a spot on the wall to stare at and soldiers on.

“I, um, realize this might seem a bit obvious but things like this, well, they really should be stated out loud.”

John pauses to glance at Sherlock. He is still looking at his tea like it’s the most interesting thing he’s ever come across, but his cheeks are now a rather charming pink. John takes a deep breath before carrying on.

“I, er, I have… feelings… for you and was wondering if perhaps we could be something more than friends.”

Sherlock does glance up at John now. He tries to speak but finds it difficult to put his own feelings into words. It would be so much easier if he’d prepared for this. Unfortunately, he was never prepared to get this far in his scheme. Which is ridiculous since this moment was the whole point. He makes an attempt to gather his scattered thoughts and opens his mouth to speak.

“John I, um, well that is to say, I return those sentiments?”

Sherlock hates that it comes out as a question. He doesn’t want to seem unsure about this. But there’s a hint of laughter in John’s eye when he quirks an eyebrow at Sherlock.

“Well that’s good to know. So I guess we should discuss what exactly that means. You know, terminology and other such things.”

Sherlock goes back to the sofa. John sinks down once more into the other end. Both of them are more relaxed now the difficult part of the conversation is over. The discussion of specifics is really very practical, if undeniably boring. He picks his tea up, takes a sip of tepid tea, and grimaces.

“I suppose by things you mean exclusivity, going public, and practical things of that nature? In which case you should know I would prefer our relationship to be monogamous. Both of us can be a bit possessive and I really can’t see being with anyone else anyway. As for the public, most of the world already thinks we’re dating so there’s really not much to be done. I do not like big public displays of affection. I find them distasteful. I prefer the term partner over boyfriend. Boyfriend sounds juvenile. Your thoughts?”

John blinks for a moment before responding, “Er… Yeah I guess. I don’t want to even consider being with anyone else and I’m glad you feel the same. I agree completely with the public displays of affection, and I really can’t imagine calling you my boyfriend so that’s no problem either.”

Sherlock hums, “What else must we discuss then? I think we’ve gone over the important things. Can everything else wait?”

John idly strokes a finger along the handle of his mug. It’s rather distracting

“I suppose that’s all we really need to talk about for now. Why? Do you have something else on your mind?”  

One could almost mistake it as an innocent question, if not for the smirk gracing John’s mouth.

“A few things actually.”

***

The first time it happens they’re walking to Angelo’s for their first official date. There is no one around. Sherlock walks close next to John until they’re practically bumping elbows. Finally John reaches out and grabs Sherlock’s hand and places a careful kiss on a knuckle. Sherlock doesn’t pull away and John holds his hand all the way to the restaurant.  

  

   

 

     


End file.
